Island Hazards Fanfic, Prolouge out, Expect Chps 1,2 and 3 Sat.
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Island Hazards Fanfic, Prolouge out, Expect Chps 1,2 and 3 Sat.
vasili1097 Sat Nov 07, 2009 2:57 pm
Welcome to my first FanFic.
Well enjoy!!.
Prolouge
_______
The Storm blew the boat like a ball, lightning crashed all around, the waves were rough. Piloting the boat was a challenge for Andrew, he had never seen a storm this bad. As he steered the boat back and forth, avoiding giant waves, He sighted a rock in the distance, "Good", he thought " a rock means land". As he was steering back and forth trying to pull alongside the rock, an unexpected wave came over the side of the boat, knocking it off course and straight towards the rock. "NO" He yelled, trying to bring the boat back on course, but to no avail. "The rudder must be broken" He thought, As he looked out he realized he was heading straight for the rock, with less than 50 feet to go. Realizing he had to bail, He yelled "Whiscash Go" and threw its Pokeball in the air. In a white flash, out came the stout form of the Mud Fish Pokemon. "Whis-Whiscash" he heard it cry. "Take us to land Whiscash" he yelled, with the expected response "Whis-cash", they set off for land.
Please Rate and Review!.
Well enjoy!!.
Prolouge
_______
The Storm blew the boat like a ball, lightning crashed all around, the waves were rough. Piloting the boat was a challenge for Andrew, he had never seen a storm this bad. As he steered the boat back and forth, avoiding giant waves, He sighted a rock in the distance, "Good", he thought " a rock means land". As he was steering back and forth trying to pull alongside the rock, an unexpected wave came over the side of the boat, knocking it off course and straight towards the rock. "NO" He yelled, trying to bring the boat back on course, but to no avail. "The rudder must be broken" He thought, As he looked out he realized he was heading straight for the rock, with less than 50 feet to go. Realizing he had to bail, He yelled "Whiscash Go" and threw its Pokeball in the air. In a white flash, out came the stout form of the Mud Fish Pokemon. "Whis-Whiscash" he heard it cry. "Take us to land Whiscash" he yelled, with the expected response "Whis-cash", they set off for land.
Please Rate and Review!.
Last edited by vasili1097 on Thu Nov 12, 2009 9:55 am; edited 1 time in total
vasili1097- Trainer
- Posts : 38
Join date : 2009-10-30
Age : 26
Location : East coast U.S.A
Re: Island Hazards Fanfic, Prolouge out, Expect Chps 1,2 and 3 Sat.
Darkrider Sat Nov 07, 2009 3:10 pm
Okay, I would rather like to have a prologue AND chapter 1, but I can't really tell yet. Nothing much to rate here, so I can't, but I will try. Is that just a random Sailor? Also, I would not have him thinking in quotation marks, people will think he is talking. Use parenthases or italisize it. Also, is this a random sailor, or does he have a plot point. Also, when someone talks, make a new paragraph, and seperate it by a space...
Ratings
Setting 5/10 A random ocean or sea is not good enough for me...
Length 5/10 Only a prologue.
Character Developement 7/10 The sailor is good, use him later.
Plot 7/10 I like this, but I can't tell what will happen. To many questions ppop up when I read this.
OVER ALL RATINGS!
6/10
Ratings
Setting 5/10 A random ocean or sea is not good enough for me...
Length 5/10 Only a prologue.
Character Developement 7/10 The sailor is good, use him later.
Plot 7/10 I like this, but I can't tell what will happen. To many questions ppop up when I read this.
OVER ALL RATINGS!
6/10
Darkrider- Admin
- Posts : 58
Join date : 2009-10-30
Age : 26
Location : In da USA, lurking in the shadows...
Re: Island Hazards Fanfic, Prolouge out, Expect Chps 1,2 and 3 Sat.
vasili1097 Thu Nov 12, 2009 9:52 am
Ratings
Setting 5/10 A random ocean or sea is not good enough for me...
Length 5/10 Only a prologue.
Character Developement 7/10 The sailor is good, use him later.
Plot 7/10 I like this, but I can't tell what will happen. To many questions ppop up when I read this.
OVER ALL RATINGS!
6/10[/quote]
Setting: the location will be revealed more later on
Length: i Didn't have everything written up for Chp 1
CD: Yes, he is actually the main character
Plot: Your questions may not be answered until later, im planning on this being suspensful.
Setting 5/10 A random ocean or sea is not good enough for me...
Length 5/10 Only a prologue.
Character Developement 7/10 The sailor is good, use him later.
Plot 7/10 I like this, but I can't tell what will happen. To many questions ppop up when I read this.
OVER ALL RATINGS!
6/10[/quote]
Setting: the location will be revealed more later on
Length: i Didn't have everything written up for Chp 1
CD: Yes, he is actually the main character
Plot: Your questions may not be answered until later, im planning on this being suspensful.
vasili1097- Trainer
- Posts : 38
Join date : 2009-10-30
Age : 26
Location : East coast U.S.A
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